How do we work?

You have decided to separate with the help of mediation and would like to know how such a process unfolds. Or you would like to revisit and amend a previously drafted parenting plan with your former partner, and would like to know how this works in practice. Or you have already separated, but several matters have not yet been properly arranged; what can mediation mean for you? When you choose to engage us as your mediator(s), we will go through a number of steps with you to ultimately reach clear agreements. Below, we describe what such a mediation process may look like.

1. Introduction

An introduction is the first point of contact between you and Hoek & Steen. An introduction  can take place by telephone or face-to-face and lasts no more than half an hour. The introduction is free of charge and without obligation, during which we explain who we are, how we work and how we may be able to help. The introduction can take place with both partners together or individually. Following an individual introduction, an intake meeting with the other partner may be desirable, or we can begin the mediation process straight away. 

2. Intake meeting

The intake meeting gives us insight into what is going on, the conflict you both experience or the issue you would like to resolve, and both of your needs. We discuss whether there are urgent matters, such as temporary housing, urgent financial provisions or an interim contact arrangement. After all, every situation, whether it concerns a divorce or revising a parenting plan, requires a tailored approach. An intake meeting can take place jointly or individually, lasts an average of one hour and costs 150 XCG. The intake meeting is also an important opportunity to determine whether you both feel comfortable with the mediator(s).

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3. Action plan

Based on the introductory meeting and/or the intake meeting, we jointly draw up an action plan. With our knowledge and experience, we provide insight into the options and consequences. Taking your situation and needs into account, we can clearly explain what we could do for both of you, from personal guidance to legal support.

4. Mediation

When a mediation process is started, we always begin by drawing up and signing a mediation agreement. This mediation agreement contains the arrangements and ground rules that apply during the mediation. The purpose of this agreement is to create a clear framework within which the mediation takes place, so that all parties involved know where they stand. The mediation agreement is an essential part of a successful mediation process, as it ensures a structured and safe environment in which the parties can work towards a solution to their conflict. The main elements of a mediation agreement are:

  • Voluntary participation: All parties enter mediation voluntarily. No one is forced to participate, and everyone has the right to stop at any time.
  • Confidentiality: Everything discussed during mediation remains confidential. This ensures that parties can speak freely without fear that information will later be used against them.
  • Neutrality of the mediator: The mediator is neutral and impartial. He or she facilitates communication between the parties, but does not make decisions or take sides.
  • Costs and payment: The agreement sets out how the costs of mediation are divided and when they must be paid.
  • Purpose of the mediation: The agreement describes the purpose of the mediation, namely finding a joint solution to the conflict for which you have come to us.

The mediator is impartial, or rather multi-partial, provides clear information, explores interests, analyses the wishes and underlying needs of both parties, and offers clear guidance and support during joint discussions with the aim of reaching agreements.  As ADR-certified mediators, we also ensure that no agreements are made that are legally impermissible.

5. Final agreement / divorce settlement agreement

If we successfully complete the mediation process, we record the agreements reached between you in a final agreement. In the event of a divorce, we refer to this as a divorce settlement agreement. The following steps explain how such an agreement is reached:

  • Negotiation phase: During the mediation, the issues on which you need to reach agreement are discussed. In the case of a divorce, this may include the division of assets, maintenance payments, pension rights and arrangements concerning the children.
  • Draft agreement: we record the agreements you have reached in a draft agreement. This document contains all agreed points and serves as the basis for the final agreement.
  • Legal review: if desired, this draft agreement can be reviewed by each of your own lawyers, or by other experts such as tax advisers, actuaries, etc., to ensure that everything is legally correct and that the agreements are enforceable.
  • Final agreement: After any necessary amendments, the final agreement is drawn up. In the case of a divorce, this agreement is called a divorce settlement agreement. This document is signed by both parties.
  • Court approval: A divorce settlement agreement requires court approval. This means that the agreement is submitted to the Gerecht together with the divorce petition. The court reviews the agreement and, if everything is in order, grants the divorce and approves the agreement. Once the decision granting the divorce has been received, it must be registered with Kranshi within 6 months, after which the divorce is final.